We have progressed so much and there is so much awareness on gender-based violence, work opportunities, nepotism and harassment, but still the fear remains.
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"There is no limit to what we as women can accomplish” - Michelle Obama.
The average day for most women is to start by taking care of children (breakfast, lunch, pack extra mural gear, homework, clothing, attend school) then go to work, often working through lunch because 5 minutes late equates 2 hours of working extra, being pleasant and doing what is required, then the school run, dinner, homework, washing, complaints, extended family issues and repeat cycle.
This is unfortunately a bigger task for those of us who have our own businesses and who have to take care of staff as well as business clients. It’s not easy but we do it anyway. Those who work sometimes grudgingly look at those housewives or home executives, but don’t be fooled as that is also no easy task and often they don’t find any other outlet.
Being a woman has taught me that you have to know everything, do everything and put up with everything, until you are strong enough, confident enough to break the mould and say: “I am worthy, and I must control my story."
Women’s Month is great but do any of you stop and say "I will do something about it". "I will make a difference". "I will not accept the bias, abuse, trauma". "I will rise above it and take the message from those women before me and make a difference".
You see, you can be better and take control, or you can remain a victim and sadly a statistic.
According to Statistics South Africa, it is reported that the murder rate of women increased by 117% over the 2015 – 2016/17 period. It’s still increasing.
Off course money is key. This is why most women accept that its easier to endure the inequalities that exist in the workplace, at home, in the joint family system, and at every other social level. We have progressed so much and there is so much awareness on gender-based violence (GBV), work opportunities, nepotism and harassment, but still the fear remains.
The victim is often the target and it's easier to keep quiet.
Spouses, partners, children, colleagues and friends judge you. When you can’t explain… you are blamed. To know what it feels like is to walk in someone’s shoes. When you are in a male-dominated profession, have courage, strength and dedication to be recognised and respected.
Most important, it starts with us as women. We need to speak out and call people out for their behaviour. We have to educate those we interact with and help where we can. Women in positions of power must harness that power to do good for both men and women. If you had it tough, don’t make it tough for others. In the social sense, if you had a mother-in-law that was a tyrant, don’t even the score by being a tyrant. Have the courage to be better.
GBV affects men, women and children. There is access to the law, but we are to act reasonable and sensibly. Also, if you want a seat at the table, don’t just get it because you tick the BEE box by being a woman. Earn it as you won’t be disposable thereafter. Don’t be tempted by false compliments. Learn to appreciate that you should be complimented on your work ethic and not how you look. To give in will allow men to maintain the social power they have over women.
According to the International Labour Organization (ILO) statistics more than one in five employees (about 738 million individuals) have experienced at least one form of harassment or violence at work during their careers.
Between April 2022 and March 2023, 53 498 sexual offences were reported to the South African Police Service (SAPS), with rape accounting for 42 780 of these cases. Rape is not always what is perceived. It can be subtle and disguised in various ways, but it is the domination by one party upon another. The emotional and psychiatric effects are shattering to those who are affected.
Abuse does not always have to be violence but can related to humiliating work conditions such as inappropriate jokes, insinuations, dressing, and comments. Domestic workers are mostly women, and they are undervalued. Workers suffer frequent verbal abuse, mistreatment, and sexual harassment. Live-in domestic helpers are isolated from their own families and support systems, and they are vulnerable to violence.
School-related GBV undermines the quality of education and creates unsafe and discriminatory workplaces for staff and pupils.
The #MeToo movement, lead to vocalising one’s experiences of sexual harassment and assault in the workplace. This served as a powerful tool in helping survivors point out the inferior power dynamics in the workplace. The concern that I have with government intervention is simply that what is being done is due to pressure but how does one actually police this when perpetrators are the likes of ministers, government officials, and politicians?
We are a powerful breed and have been created because we are able to do it all. We make a plan and we overcome. We can deal with heartbreak but cure a broken heart. We deal with poverty but can feed an entire family. We deal with harassment but look after whomever we can. We deal with being under educated but we educate in ways that a formal qualification is insignificant. We are women and the roar can be deafening.
Shamla Pather
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Shamla Pather is director at Shamla Pather Attorneys Inc. She has been in practice for over 26 years and a member of several local and international organisations.
** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media.
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